TABLES

they have finally turned. and maaaaaaaaaan, totally the unexpected way.



i'm back in the game now.


watch out.

Strange & Beautiful

I've been watching your world from afar
I've been trying to be where you are
and I've been secretly falling apart
unseen

To me you're strange and you're beautiful
you'd be so perfect with me
but you just can't see
you turn every head
but you don't see me

I'll put a spell on you
you'll fall asleep
and when I wake you
I'll be the first thing you see
and you'll realise that you love me

Sometimes the last thing you want comes in first
sometimes the first thing you want never comes
and I know
that waiting is all you can do
sometimes

Aqualung - Strange & Beautiful (I'll Put A Spell On You)

the whitest boy alive - above you

if you have a way of knowing
every river can be crossed
loose the sparrow that has landed
for the one that never was

there's a song for every dreamer
as they climb over this fence



i want you
i want you

Simple Minds Do Simple Things

You're absolutely right.

I mean, why waste your time with someone smart and interesting when there are so many stupid and easily impressed girls running after you?


I agree, it's great for your ego. They think you're some kind of wonderful.

And I don't. I just think you're nice.

And why settle for nice when you can have wonderful?


Go ahead, you're ABSOLUTELY right.

We don't live in the same place anyway.

I have a list of people I really care about.

you're not in it.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.




hahahahaha.


HAHAHAHAHA.


ha.




hilarious. i am so faking hilarious.


pathetically hilarious.


some people think they got me all figured out.



eu me divirto.

As I wrote a month ago: "I'm gonna sit back and watch you deal with all the drastic consequences."



I know you are dealing with the drastic consequences. The whole story is just starting to unfold.


I'd better get some popcorn.

cause=time

gotta get some sleep.


I know something's up.I can tell by the way you treat me. You're not comfortable in my presence, young man.




Dunno if I care now.


We have time. I, in fact, have plenty of time.

Time I am not spending with you. Because I don't want to, that's the truth.


If I did, I would.

So, you either show me some blatant signs of interest or I'll just stick to the just friends routine. Until you're comfortable with it and become a real friend.

You're just someone I know, for now.


Apparently, I care. Not as much as I did weeks ago.


watheva.

can't stand myself.


c'mon kiki, pull yourself together.rise and shine, bitch.


rise and shine.


ASAP.

eu.tô.sofrendo.




titia leslie feist me faz fraquejar e ficar sentimental.



depois passa e eu fico tough again.

Greta Garbo once said:


"There are many things in your heart you can never tell another person. They are you, your private joys and sorrows, and you can never tell them. You cheapen yourself, the inside of yourself, when you tell them."





There are things no one will ever know.

Face it.

How tremendously ridiculous am I?



This was never meant to make much sense anyway.

Coincidences...

I'm getting sick of them.









They're too many for such a short period of time.



ARGH.

Oh, great

Now I see what you're up to.

I could see it coming. What I don't get is you treating me that way.
Well, you're not casual at all dear. I could sense the quivering in your voice when you said "Hi".

Not to worry,not to worry. I simply don't care that much anymore.


BUT HA!

I hexed you.

I'm gonna sit back and watch you deal with all the drastic consequences.


This is going to be so much fun...

Am I ready for a fall?

Dear Mr. X,





I like you. You can play the casual and not-so-interested all you want.


I don't really get why. Is there someone else?
Are you simply traumatised?


I don't think you'll tell me.


For now, then, I'll stay still and wait for you to make the first moves, again and again.


But I don't intend on playing this game for long.


The tables will turn.




Yours truly,


Christina

Above You

In the battle for belonging
Every doorbell has its code
With a stare it can be opened
Now you have it now you don't

There are buildings there are people
Walk around and look up to
Every swallow has its season
Every gallow has its noon

By the rythm of your language
By the sparkle in your stride
Talk in riddles or be candid
With a shield or open wide

The lesson you must learn
No one could ever teach
Open up and reach for the stars

Above you
Above you

If you have a way of knowing
Every river can be crossed
Lose the sparrow that had landed
For the one that never was

There's a song for every dreamer
As they climb over this fence
Trading roses for the real world
As the second week commences

Where no one has control
Where the young clipse the old
Predjudice and wisdom
All the same

I want you
I want you

( Above You - The Whitest Boy Alive )



Alright. I have come to my senses. But still, I am worried.

I feel as if I'm being ignored. Lack of interest is a killer, when the other part is hugely interested.

Let's see what happens on friday. I have some sort of plan. A dirty strategy.


I'm keeping my cards so close to my chest you won't be able to see them.


Wait til i lay them in the table and win the game.


If this is a poker game, I'll win without bluffing.

HA.

Agora, sério.


Tem vezes que eu amo como o meu interesse é algo flutuante.


Uma hora tá aqui,em outras tá longe.



E agora ele tá looooooooooooooooooooooooonge.


Sem previsão de voltar.



E eu tô achando ótimo.


Ele há de voltar quando for solicitado.

Specialist

You make me lose my buttons
oh yeah you make me spit
I don't like my clothes anymore




Love will get you down



My love's a laboratory
I set all my pets free
so baby you should sleep with me

I make trips to the bathroom
yeah my friends all have true grit
I am speckled like a leppard





Just like a leppard!



trust will get you down







If I get there early
will it be the right time?
my heaven is just waiting
so put your hand into mine
if I get too surly
will you take that in stride?
our boat is just there waiting
so put your little hand in mine

and speak when you're spoken of
catch up on your sleep girl
when you wear that body glove
you're acting on iniciative
you're spelling out your love
you shouldn't be alone in there
you could above ground





all I want to be is the very best for you



this time
there will be no life of crime
don't rain on me tonight




circle around me now baby
and we'll beat this mess
'cause we all go downtown sometimes
somehow baby we will beat this mess
it's the time
fuck the surface
to meet the specialist

time away from me
will get you down
I love the way you put me in the big house





if you're frustrated then go
if you're frustrated then go


I'm a specialist in hope
and I'm registered to vote
won't you come into my barrio
yeah we'll see if you can float


( Specialist - Interpol )

Well well well

Same excuse, every other time
so don't assume you can draw the line
if only knowing the truth was good enough
baby can I call you back?

(Well Well Well - Sondre Lerche)

One way or another.

Here's the thing. You're doomed. There's no escaping.



I want it and I will have it.
















Ok, maybe I won't. But this time, I'm putting all my cards on the table.

Let's see how you react to this now, since you weren't very thrilled when I hid my game.





I also have cards up my sleeve, you know. Just in case.

Long Distance Call

Where to go I had no idea about it
most of the people do, they're only doing just fine
I don't want to stay in place no more, see
ain't doing well well well
I'm only doing just fine

Long time no see,long time no say
got little to tell
I don't say much, but I might



I am looking around town, thinking the same as you

( Long Distance Call - Phoenix )

hey you

Pay careful attention.

I am amazing. You don't even know how much to begin with.


But you are soon to find out, yes you are.

kiki on tv?

I still can't get that magnificent piece of arse out of my mind. Call me a perv, I don't care. It's an awesome bum, yes it is and I wanna touch it again.


On other news...

My friend Lobato told me yesterday that there was going to be a selection for a Nokia commercial today. They needed 250 people, apparently. I thought,why not try it?

So, I took a shower, put on some make up and went.

To my surprise, it was a video test.


FUCK!


Luckily, I'm this exotic little redhead for brazilian standards. When I entered the studio all eyes were on me. And even luckier, they were all male.


I bet I'm in. C'mon, I'm reasonably good looking. And they need 250 people.


I am definitely making 70 reais a day for 4 days of work, weeeeee

"Last night I had the strangest dream...

...everything was exactly how it seemed"

Only it wasn't.

Instead of dreaming of best mate Amy Winehouse, Kiki here dreamed she had a friend in the U.S.

His name was Russel. In the dream, I called him. Yeah, international long distance call. From my godparents house.

Russel was nice. Right after I hung up he sent me flowers. They were purple.

And all of a sudden the godparents house turned into some sort o YMCA.

With badminton fields. And swimming pools.

Half asleep, I worried about how I was going to explain having called a friend in the U.S.

Last post was a modafucking rant.

But but I meant it. I am truly worried. I'm probably traumatised.


FUCK YOU STUPID BLUE EYED BASTARD FOR RUINING MY LOVE LIFE TO BE.


Okay, not entirely his fault. But I didn't have the chance of telling him all I wanted. So I'll just randomly add insults directed to his person whenever I feel like it.







I had coffee this morning. Just about 15 minutes ago. That's RARE. I basically only drink coffee when I want to, hm, wake up.


Tea tea and coffee
Helps to start the day
Tea tea and coffee
Shaking all the way
City's alive and, surprise, so am I
Tea, tea and coffee
Get no sleep today
(Blur - You're So Great)



I'm off. I have loads of things to do. Such as cleaning cat's piss.


AWESOME.

Minor Detail by Sondre Lerche

It's the morning after everything has dawned and I'm about to be late
The sun here on my left and that piano on the right is my date
It's a major minor detail
It's a soiltary sequel to never knowing anything at all

Phew

I need to unload.


I, I, I have friggin hyperactive butterflies in my stomach. I have 5758765865844 shivers being sent down my spine every second. My palms are sweating. I feel as if there's a knot in my throat. I'm cold.



Seriously, I am not a 15 year old.


Then, why am I so incredibly and unbelievably nervous?


I mean it, if he takes more than 5 minutes to answer that bloody msn I will die.















I HATE not knowing where I'm standing.
I'm probably overreacting, I know...but...but ICAN'THELPITGODDAMN.



LISA, WHERE ARE YOU WHEN I NEED TO TALK TO YOU? I KNOW YOU'RE FINALLY ON HOLIDAYS AND ALL, BUT PLEASE, SOME PEOPLE NEED YOU ONLINE.


Oh, he's offline. Nice one. I'll just go hang myself, be back in a minute.



Alright, let's analyse it:

a - he's probably just as nervous and shy as me and is going for the casual approach (A BIT TOO CASUAL, I DARESAY)like me or;

b - he's not even caring. whatever. he scored. I'm just any other girl.

I could come up with a c, but i'll put my hopes on a and wait til, friday I guess. Coz apparently he does not want to see me earlier.



OH WTF. Am I so desperate to the point of mindless and childish speculation?

Well, if that's the case, it means I like him. Shite, that's not supposed to happen. It's the second rule of my "what kiki should no longer do" book.

Actually, there isn't one, but if so, it would be the second rule.

I'd better go to bed and dream of Amy Winehouse being my best friend and having to make her stop sniffing coke just like last night.

I can't. I 'll probably dream of a beautifully formed piece of meat.
Human flesh, actually. Roundly shaped. And firm. OKAYI'LLSTOPNOWORI'LLGOMAD.

Two posts on day one. Not bad.

1st things first

New blog, I haz it.


Will I take it seriously? Only time will tell. Based on past attempts of blogging, I daresay I won't. But you never know, really.

So, hi.

I am Kiki.

I mean, people call me Kiki. My name, in fact, is Christina.

I have a bunch of cats. They make me happy, those nasty felines.

I used to live in Porto Alegre, but came back to spend some time with my parents in Rio.

I have every intention of going back to Porto Alegre. When? Don't ask me, I really don't know.
I honestly hope it's soon.

I used to share a flat with my ex boyfriend. Another redhead. As I put it, two redheads in a small flat was bound not to work out.

I only say that coz it sounds nicer than saying that the twat cheated on me and kicked me out of the flat.

I hope he dies.

Nah, I don't.

I hope, well, I don't give a fuck anymore. So, whether he dies or lives or regrets it and still misses me, it's no longer of my concern.

At least he's taking good care of my cat, apparently. Well, his cat now.


I'm broke. I barely have money to go out and drink beers in the weekend. But I have friends. They get me beers, and other drinks as well. Nothing I haven't done for them before.


I feel terribly lonely. At least there's internet. And music. And cigarettes too.

I write. At least I try. I started writing a silly spy story. Haven't touched it in months. I think it's rather good. Possibly because I have such a high opinion of myself. Or maybe because it is rather good indeed, as some friends said. They could be lying, of course.


Love? I'm definitely no longer into it. It's good for nothing. It makes you dumb. It makes you do things you know are not good for you and wouldn't have done otherwise.

I don't believe in god. I'd rather put my trust on ceiling cat.

Dunno about ceiling cat? Google it. It has something to do with lolcats. I find it highly entertaining.



Okay, enough.


Lateer